i love CARNE <333
(Source: mexicankidproblems, via murdle)
VICIOUS Freedom
being friends with my x-boyfriend
last week i was dumped and now he has come to me and asked me to stay at his side as a friend. not only does it hurt to know im not with him but knowing he wants to stay in contact stings for he is in need and being the nice person that i am i bare the pain. to this day its as if everyday i hear from him idk why but it just feels as if we never brooke up ya we dont say those i love u words that meaned the world to me but i feel like they want to be said but i know thats me grasping to faith that he would want to change his mind and be with me. but the thing is idk if i were to go back with him he doesnt have his mind straight and his path is blurry so he has saved me from ending up on my face on my own. i love him and always will it took me a while to own up to those feeling but the fact that i didnt want to ruin wat we had built since we were kids and now there out there and im not about to say that i dont love him. idk wat will happen but im hoping to be prepared. not a day goes by that i dont think about him ..
i didnt say it would be easy but i didnt think it would be so hard
almost a week without my boyfriend i know i was hurting when i was with him but its hurtinng more now knowing im without him. its not the fact that i dont like being alone cuz i was single for almost 4 years and didnt mind it one bit but now that i had my best guy friend at my side and made me happy and sad at times but it felt right idk anymore wats goin to happen with me and him on the fact of getting back together or not but its said if people are ment to be together the world will bring them back together at a better place and time i believe that but it hurts knowing he has more of an ability to move on than i do.. for him its easy to find girl even if he isnt a good looking guy but its harder on a girl who has tough exterior when at heart shes on of the nicest and sweetest. idk wats goin on with me but im more vunerable now. i love him and thats all i know
getting dumped on the first day of 2012
im sad to say this but this happen to me. i got dumped i knw i said i was going to dump him but i wanted to know wtf was goin on during new years eve i did drink alot i had high emotions runing i went from smilling and laughing ane crying threw the whole night multiple times ending in tears. but he always had a way to stop me and change my mind by the end of the night he had made things clear to me that he loved me and he wanted to be with me and that he doesnt want to hurt me. i told him with or without him i would be hurting. the night ended at 4 am i had made love to him that night i was happy to say that i was with him and that we had made things work. that afternon i txtd him tlling him tht ive been hidding multiple hickis he had left me with and his response was k.. i then told him this is wat b0thers me about him that he always seemed lik not wanting to txt me or anythin he thn says to me u dumped me yesterday i nvr dumped anyone i agreed to staying with him and workin things out at the end of the conversation he says its bbttr if were friends for now until he figures things out. idk if im gonna go back with him or not but right now im hurting more than ever im not licking any of these feelings i loved him with all my heart ..
I did this and got my heart broken. Nd im still seen as the bad guy..
(Source: chocolateprincesse, via fearfullness)
knowing when to finaly dump ur boyfriend
ive been in a relationship that was amazing at first and i thought i cant be any happier with anyone else. soon after a month he starts slowly drifting txt getting shorter no call and days going by not hearing from him and he tells me i need space for i need to figure things out. i gave him his space and everything his time with friends i never txtd him cuz im not one to send txt and never hear from him till hours later he said the love word and i believed him and now ive realised im no longer happy i tried i waited for things to go back to normal and to feeling loved but its like waiting for rain in a endless drought . since the first break up with him ive kept my relationship off facebook cuz i would share our problems with the world and he didnt quite like that. just yesterday i posted on facebook about how unhappy i was being in love with my bestfriend and how it was crap that we are ment to be together. my eyes are dry for tears no longer fall . there is only anger in my eyes that i let this get so far. he doesnt care for me or he would have tried to fix things but i guess for him chicks come and go .. one will crush his heart like he crushed mine.goodbye to the mother fucker who made me cry. he has the balls to then txt me at work and tell me WATS WRONG NOW!!! wow did this make me more than mad..
something NEW
as u feel trapped with the intention something or someone new comes into your life and wants to make a change in you and you think about it. i took the first step to trying something new it wasnt as bad as i thought and im glad i did it. but there only certain steps you can take before someone ends up getting hurt with not wanting to lose friends along the way the only thing is to stay where we are and leave as is.. the ability to open my life to somethin diffrent is strange and tempting.. i dont care who sees and who dislikes me along the way i do wat i want and live my life as is. viciously ALIVE <3
Feeling of the past <3
today was like a feeling that i had from the first month i was with my boyfriend. the moments where you can lay together as he whispered word of love into my ear. the things i loved to hear and moments i missed relived in such a short time which made me feel that he still loved me and that he still wants to be with me i know its been a short time with him being in a relationship it has been a wierd journey and theres more to come but just for today i loved everything about it.. im still his and will be for the future ahead..
having this feeling more and more every day
finaly got to see him..
i finally was able to see him today . does he know how much pain hes putting me though. i guess a girl has to beg for affection. like do u have to benaked in front of a guy for him to notice you. all this is killing me and make me encredibly sad instead of being happy to finally see him it hurts worse than not seeing him and hearing from him. pain that just increases as he stares at me from across the table and i want to cry and scream telling him do u even want to be with me do u even care about me. anymore .. if he doesnt want me why keep me ..i just dont knw wat do ..bcuz at the end he can make all these thoughts go away for one minute with a KISS..
